If you've forgotten your password to get to his campaign web site, Ted Stevens knows why:
Through a series of highly sophisticated and complex algorithms, this system has determined that you are not presently authorized to use this system function. It could be that you simply mistyped a password, or, it could be that you are some sort of interplanetary alien-being that has no hands and, thus, cannot type. If I were a gambler, I would bet that a cat (an orange tabby named Sierra or Harley) somehow jumped onto your keyboard and forgot some of the more important pointers from those typing lessons you paid for.
Point out that Alaska was made a laughingstock over The Bridge to Nowhere.
Then run the Tubes speech.
Then ask whether Ted Stevens is really still right for Alaska.
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